But it's worth the hard work. The payoff is enjoying more friends, having more fun, and feeling more confident. We can't change our true inner nature and who would want to? If you have a naturally shy style, or if shyness holds you back, you might have to work at developing a sense of ease around new people.
Most people find that the more they practice socializing, the easier it gets. Practicing social skills — like assertiveness ; conversation; and friendly, confident body language — can help people overcome shyness, build confidence, and get more enjoyment from everyday experiences.
Reviewed by: Colleen Sherman, PhD. Larger text size Large text size Regular text size. What Is Shyness? Reacting to New Things New and unfamiliar situations can bring out shy feelings — like the first day of school, meeting someone new, or speaking in front of a group for the first time.
Why Are Some People Shy? Our genes determine our physical traits, like height, eye color, skin color, and body type. But genes also influence certain personality traits, including shyness.
But not everyone with a genetic tendency to be shy develops a shy temperament. Life experiences also play a role. Life experiences. When people are faced with a situation that may lead them to feel shy, how they deal with that situation can shape their future reactions to similar situations.
For example, if people who are shy approach new things little by little, it can help them become more confident and comfortable. But if they feel pushed into situations they don't feel prepared for, or if they are teased or bullied , it can make them even more shy. The examples other people set can also play a role in whether a person learns to be shy or not. If the parents of a shy child are overly cautious or overprotective, it can teach the child to back away from situations that might be uncomfortable or unfamiliar.
Shy Strength Many people want to reduce their shyness. Focusing on the people in the room rather than whether you're speaking correctly can help calm public speaking nerves, experts say Credit: Getty Images. Sometimes the problem is that people who struggle with something like public speaking due to shyness often set themselves very high standards for how they should perform in such a situation, she explains.
If they are able to relieve some of the pressure on themselves, allowing themselves short pauses to take a breath might help alleviate some of that anxiety. Focusing on the audience rather than yourself can help you be less caught up in whether you stumble over your words. She also suggests challenging yourself by being more open to new situations. This means changing your script. Ask yourself what you fear most about social situations.
Are you worried about appearing boring? Or running out of things to say? The more you know about your anxiety, the more you can start to challenge it. Jessie Sun, a PhD student at the University of California Davis who researches the psychology of personality, stresses that shyness and introversion are not the same thing. Western culture puts great emphasis on making eye contact - but not every other culture is as comfortable with this Credit: Getty Images.
Shy people are often introverted, but they might also be extroverts whose anxiety gets in the way of being sociable. And non-shy introverts might be socially adept but just prefer their own company. Offer examples from your own life. Encourage outgoing behaviour. Praise your child when they handle an unfamiliar situation or meet a new person without resorting to shyness. Try goal-setting with your child. Aim for small, incremental steps and praise them for their progress.
Deliberately take your child into new situations. Aim for small changes in behaviour first and gradually build up. For example, reward a child if they greet someone who is new to them. Be supportive. Make sure your child is allowed to excel in what they do best. Praise them for skills they have mastered. Treatment options include: Stress management. Relaxation strategies. Counselling sessions. Social skills training. Where to get help Your doctor for a referral to a specialist service.
Parent Line Tel. Kids Help Line Tel. Things to remember A shy child is anxious or inhibited in unfamiliar situations or when interacting with others.
Most children feel shy from time to time but the lives of some are curtailed by their shyness. More information here. Give feedback about this page. Get suggestions for tackling the questions that make every parent squirm. Contact Us. See All Solutions. For Employers. Who We Are. Resources for Employers. Resources for Families. Search Bright Horizons. Find a Center Locate our child care centers, preschools, and schools near you. Log in to Schedule Backup Care. I'm interested in Looking for a child care center Accessing my benefits Providing benefits to my employees Joining the Bright Horizons Team.
Tips for Parenting Shy Children A few tips for parents and caregivers on how to help shy children: Instead of seeing your child as just a shy kid, recognize and value the whole child and his or her strengths, feelings, and interests. Absolutely avoid negative labeling. Shy behavior shouldnt define the child. Once a child bears the labels, "shy, fearful, or timid," its hard to overcome. Some of the qualities that accompany what is thought of as shyness are very positive.
Careful, mindful, or cautious are more positive terms and characteristics.
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